Saturday, January 21, 2006

A Friend in Need

Tonight I read something that stopped me in my tracks. People have told me before they think I'm brave for talking openly about my struggles with mental illness. I never understood what they meant, until now. Coping with my problems wasn't brave; it was just coping. But I just read the blog of a friend who is having a very rough time right now. She hasn't prettied things up, but wrote the truth of her life at this time. You know what I think? I think she's BRAVE. She is a survivor & I admire her for being so damn honest.
What I admire most about her though is the fact that even though she isn't feeling any better, she came back to write more. What's so big about that? 2 things:
1) She's ALIVE!
2) She took the time to let those of us who care know that she's alive.

The nature of our illness says that approximately 20% of us will commit suicide. I don't want her to be a statistic. It would have been so easy for her to throw in the towel of life, but she hasn't. She's still fighting & I am glad she is.
Reading her words, I can feel her agony, yet at the same time I can see as an outsider too. I know how very much she means to me & how many lives would never be the same if she were successful in harming herself.
While blogging opens a new world to the mentally ill & gives us neighbors; there is also a difficult part of it. It's not like I can just go thru my computer monitor to visit her, to give her a hug, to sit up with her all night. There are limitations.
I hope & pray that this is one time where our spirits transcend space & she can literally feel me sitting there with her. Crying, hurting, agonizing with her over life. All I hope is that she knows she isn't alone. God, I want her to know she isn't alone.

If you've got a few minutes, maybe you can stop by & visit her blog. My intentions aren't to sale Jil's blog, but I do know firsthand how much it means when someone reaches out & lets you know they care; especially when you're down. To visit Wild Abandon, click here.

posted by jane at 10:22 PM