Tuesday, August 30, 2005

It was a nice family...really

The following are true accounts of my adventures with my ex-husband & his family:

My sister-in-law & I went to the mall & she bought a pair of shoes. We were so stoned that we didn't notice until the next morning it was 2 left shoes.

Me & same S.I.L. were driving along after disco dancing one night. A cop car pulled alongside of us & turned on his flashing lights. I shouted, "Hi Officer, am I driving okay?" Obviously not. We were arrested & spent the night at Norwalk Sheriff Station in our pretty disco dresses. I didn't find out exactly why we were stopped until about 6 months ago. According to her, 2 of my wheels were on the road & the other 2 were on the center median; the car wasn't moving. It was the 70s and once again we were too stoned.

My Ex broke his leg trying to jump a fence one New Year's Eve. He had to catch a bus to UCLA Medical Center & as he was getting on the bus, the bus started to pull away. The bus driver obviously didn't see him in the stairwell & there he was bouncing with his leg stuck up the stairs & the rest of him head down. He had to let go of his crutches & his leg was eventually was freed from the stairs & he crawled to the gutter. That was so him.

On our honeymoon, as we were driving the Ford truck down to San Diego, cars were honking at us. I instinctively turned around & flipped em the bird, not realizing that on the back window it said, "Just Married"

My M.I.L. stored her dentures on the kitchen table at night. She saved her abc gum in the dentures at night.

My kids told me that their uncle said he recently went to the dentist. After seeing his xray's, the dental technician told him had she known how bad his teeth were she wouldn't have started to clean them. The only thing holding his teeth in his mouth is the plaque. She stopped cleaning his teeth. He's only 35.




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posted by jane at 1:06 PM