Thursday, October 27, 2005

Time

I was supposed to visit my aunt today, but couldn't because I've had a bad headache, plus she has stomach problems today. A week ago Saturday my cousins hired a full time nurse's aide to stay with her as she could no longer walk or do things without assistance. When I saw Aunty last week, I didn't think she'd be here this week, nor did my cousins.
I didn't like her nurse's aide because she seemed too loud, laughing & opening the blinds, opening the sliding glass door...my aunt didn't like it that way & we respected her wishes. This nurse's aide supposedly has a lot of hospice experience, caring for the terminally ill. To me it seemed she had anything but. When I left last week & hugged her, her eyes looked right through me & they became teary. I told her I love her & stopped myself from saying I was going to miss her. I had to leave as I couldn't even talk & I left crying. On my way home I realized it was time to start letting go. I wrote a blog post the following day as I was overwhelmed with emotion, but I didn't publish it. I'm glad I didn't.
Aunty has made a HUGE turn for the better. Saturday she even let Lola put a little makeup on her & wanted her pictures taken, 1 with Lola & 1 with the aide. She LOVES her nurse's aide. It seems this aide knows something we didn't. The sunlight, the fresh air, happy attitude have helped my aunt tremendously. On Tuesday she even went downstairs to listen to the pianist play. (this was the first time since she was hospitalized) My mom & her boyfriend, Fast Eddie, were there & he sang some songs in Spanish. I guess he didn't remember all the words & was quickly corrected by the attentive ears.
2 friends of Aunty's are visiting her from Arkansas. When she found out they were coming, she didn't want them to because she was so sick. Now, she's thrilled they're here & they visited for 1 1/2 hours yesterday. Aunty has even asked Lola if she'll drive her & her friends around Balboa beach. She also wants to get out in her wheelchair. When I talked with her the other day on the phone, the change in her voice was unbelievable.
*While she still has cancer & diagnosed with a short time to live it now seems she has more than a few weeks, as we thought. When I wrote the blog entry (the one I didn't publish) I had 1 desire: to have more time with her. In just 1 short week, it looks like we have exactly that!

*I added this sentence to avoid confusion that it's emission caused. I apologize.

posted by jane at 2:10 PM