Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Sometimes life is a headache

I've had an excruciating headache since Monday. I don't think its a migraine because the location has changed. On Monday afternoon, I called my neighbor to see if she had a pain pill, as long as it wasn't vicodin, she said she did. She brought me some medicine from Germany, but insisted on giving me a hug first. UGH. Okay, she hugged me. And she was very drunk. So she stayed in my doorway talking within 1 foot of my face with breath that can only be described as smelling like vomit.
Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the medicine & her compassion. But I already felt like throwing up. Her ranting in my face with vomit breath about MoleMan wasn't helping. I finally said I had to lay down. The medicine didn't work but my headache got worse.

Demerol shots are the only thing that works for me. The local hospital doesn't administer Demerol in the E.R. department as it's addicting. So, it's a headache to go there as they're always trying to give me something new.
I've gotten migraines since I was 17. I've tried EVERYTHING, heard about the banana peel on the back of the neck, feverfew, imitrex, tylenol with codeine, you name it, it's been tested on this body. Been to a Neurologist & had an MRI & EKG on my brain. (they actually found a brain in there!) I take daily preventative migraine medicine & medicine for when I get a migraine, but when those don't work & I can't handle it, I go to the E.R.
Last night was so bad though, but I couldn't go there. I just couldn't handle their B.S.

To give you an idea how I've been feeling, I haven't showered since Sunday. Today I showered & went to the doctor's & saw the Nurse Practitioner. Within 1 minute she's pushing some new migraine drug on me, I start crying & say I don't necessarily want more drugs. (I'm already on about 8 or so) We both think it may be caused by my fall during my camping trip. Tomorrow I'm calling the Chiropractor who managed to get rid of my headaches a few years back.

I've been ranting & bitching....I feel so guilty for even mentioning this when I look at little Kaitlyn's picture. I am so fortunate to still be alive. It's not that I'm not grateful. Right now, I'm just miserable.
I haven't been making my visits & reading the blogs on my list as I normally do & I feel neglectful. somehow things don't seem so bad when I share them with other blogoholics. Maybe this will help.

posted by jane at 12:16 PM