Thursday, August 18, 2005

A word of advice: Don't make friends in mental wards

I thought I was helping, I swear I did! A lady I'd met at the "Sequel to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (no joke) was getting discharged but needed somewhere to go. She didn't want to go to a board & care, which is what her Dr. & Social Workers were suggesting. So, I made a few calls & was able to set up arrangements.

I arrived at the hospital around 3:30. It was rather eerie & I really didn't like walking back into that place, that just yesterday I felt they'd never let me out of. 2 of the Administrators called me in & asked if I was sure I wanted to get involved & did I really need the stress. Well, surely I wanted to help her. (wonder why Tarzan calls me Mother Theresa)
So, my friend & her walker, her 2 bags of belongings, had to weigh herself just cuz & go potty, we walked out the door & then she picked up her things that were in the safe. This could be a loooooooong story, but I won't let it, my brain will blow up.
We went by the house that was letting her stay there for 2 days, a beautiful house & it'd just be $30 a night. Then we had to go get some sheets, pillow, things like that from Target. But first we wanted to look at the house she'd be going to on Friday, didn't find it & I got lost. Then to her bank & just one particular branch which was FAR away. It's nearing 6pm and Trixi's dinner time, Tarzan won't be home until later as he's having dinner with his parents. My baby is home alone & I'm worried.
Target was a nightmare! Got Carla (not her real name) a wheelchair but she wanted one of those electric ones. Okay, she got one. We're back by the linens & the damn battery runs out. I'm looking at my watch & freaking out. She has no concept of time, my pets needs, MY needs and I'm starting to say FUCK more & more. We have to WAIT for them to bring back the wheelchair we originally started with.

The stories, oh the stories she told of espionage, conspiracy, you name it! It's kinda like driving to the beach with a friend & 1/2 way there you realize they've dropped 4 tabs of acid. YOU ARE SCREWED! Now I'm wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into. There's no doubt in my mind she belongs in a board & care facility. I have to listen to this crap about her eating shit, (literally) sex with relatives, how her family controls all the psychiatrists, hospitals, board & cares, churches, etc. in this county,
She decides she doesn't want to stay at that ladies house because she's decided she's that woman is a lesbian. She's mentioned she thought this more than once. After numerous times, I've had enough & tell her I think that's pretty crappy of her. Here this kind woman was willing to take her in for 2 nights, get her a bed & nightstand & she's calling her a lesbian because she has short hair!

I notice that she, just like my crying roommate at the hospital tend to be very manipulative. The 'woe is me' stuff comes out as an avoidance mechanism. Anyways, she kept changing her mind over & over between where she wanted to go. I finally said I was taking her to a hotel out here where I knew the area, but she'd have to get a ride in the morning because I won't be home.

I get her settled in her hotel room, tell her don't open her door, remind her of some safety things and say I must go. As I'm leaving she says, "It's no wonder they tell us not to make friends with people we meet at the hospital." (thanks for telling me now!) I give her a hug good-bye and say, "Gee, wonder why."

(I realize I sound very callous here, but by this time, I know I've made a BIG mistake & honestly have no other option & I can't solve her problem for her. I did call the psych. ward when I got home & let them know where she was, which was when I learned she left AMA (Against Medical Advice). The bottom line is, I'm in no condition to help her. There are plenty of resources out there & she has all their cards & phone numbers. I really do care about her though, we just can't stay in touch.)

posted by jane at 12:06 AM