Monday, June 20, 2005

Any suggestions?

What do you do when someone involves you in their harmful relationship? My neighbor called a bit ago, drunk, again. She kicked her boyfriend out, again. He's already hit her once & weighs at least 2 times what she does. But despite the black eye & bruises on her arm, she went back with him. It was at that time I decided to back away.
I don't feel bad for her. I'm sorry but I dont. She's a smart woman & I just don't get why she'd even go back with him. And I REALLY hate talking to drunks when they're drunk. That is a huge pet peeve of mine. I just won't waste my time.
But what do I say to her? She is a nice person with a good heart & isn't a victim. In all honesty, I hold her 50% responsible for this mess. Still though, I'm at a loss as what I should say.
The bottom line is, I don't want to hear her whine about him now. I know she's going to go back with him. I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT! I don't want to be part of this dysfunctional cycle & I want to REFUSE to be. Do I come right out & say that? If so, do I have to say it kindly? Or just be blunt?
In 1985 I left my then-husband because of drugs, I knew that I didn't want our kids raised in that type of environment. And I knew that on my own, I'd hit bottom faster than if I stayed with my husband. And I did. At the time, that was the only way I knew to make a better future for my kids. Fortunately, it worked. Perhaps that has something to do with my passionate feelings about this. But then, maybe not.
Does anybody have any suggestions?

posted by jane at 8:58 PM