Wednesday, June 22, 2005

To Roe

for Roe
Posted by Hello

June 20th would have been my friends 61st birthday. She died on Sept. 29, 2004 of brain cancer. She'd only been diagnosed with it in August. I'd known her since October 2001 & we'd never met her in person, just online. She had a profound impact on my life. I can honestly say its because of her that I have many of my strengths that I have today.
She was a very opinionated italian, catholic from Brooklyn, NY & loved to debate. She'd argue with someone & all the time be laughing while their blood boiled. I'm more the blood boiling type, so I don't like debating or arguing for sport. But we were good friends despite the fact that we disagreed on most everything: religion & politics, just to name a few.
What I learned from Roe was never to comprimise myself. That nobody or nothing is worth being untrue to myself. She had this quote that I never understood until after she'd died. It was: "If We take people as we find them, We make them worse, but if We treat them as though they are what they should be, We help them to become what they are capable of becoming."I never quite understood what that meant. Then 1 day it all made sense! I understood what she'd been trying to show me. I never understood why she liked me, what she saw in me. She'd always told me, "You can trust me." I'd been so leery & untrusting, so suspicious. Yet, she was so trustworthy. And you know, she was right, I could always have trusted her. And because she treated me as though I was what I should be, I'm closer to becoming that.
The most amazing thing I learned about her though, was that I wasn't the only person that she applied that quote to. There was a large group of us that belonged to a particular chat room & she'd been emailing so many others. Believing that they could be what they should be. Not that she didn't accept them, but that she knew they'd "settled" for so much less than.
I miss her so tremendously. She was diagnosed & had surgery then got worse so quickly, there was no goodbye. That must've been how it was supposed to be. I don't think anything in life happens by accident. To have been blessed by the presence of such a profound person in my life is such an honor, I am truly humbled to tears.
I miss you Roe

posted by jane at 4:38 PM