Monday, October 31, 2005

List of November Holidays

November is . . . . International Drum Month, Peanut Butter Lover's Month, and Slaughter Month, Families Stories Month, Epilepsy Awareness Month, Diabetic Eye Disease Month, Aviation History Month, I am so Thankful Month, International Orphan Disease Month, Lung Cancer Awareness Month, National Adoption Month, National AIDS Awareness Month, National Alzheimer's Disease Month, National American Indian Heritage Month, National Family Caregivers Month, National Georgia Pecan Month, National Healthy Skin Month, National Hospice Month,
National Lifewriting Month, National Marrow Awareness Month, Peanut Butter Lovers' Month, Vegan Month, Real Jewelry Month, National Sleep Comfort Month,

Weeks:
National Fig Week (November 1-7)
World Communication Week (November 1-7)
Chemistry Week (1st week)
Notary Public Week (November 3-7)
Kids' Goal Setting Week (November 4-8)
Dear Santa Letter Week (November 5-9)
Pursuit of Happiness Week (November 8-14)
National Hug A Veteran Week (November 10-16)
Perioperative (OR) Room Nurse Week (November 10-16)
Game and Puzzle Week (3rd week)

Days:
1st: Plan Your Epitaph Day, All Saints Day, National
Author's Day, National Family Literacy Day, Vinegar
Day, World Vegetation Day

2nd: National Deviled Egg Day, Sadie Hawkins Day, Look for Circles Day

3rd: Sandwich Day, Housewife's Day, Cliche' Day

4th: Waiting For The Barbarians Day, National Chicken Lady Day, Sadie Hawkins Day, King Tut Day

5th: Gunpowder Day, General Election Day, Guy Fawkes Day

6th: Saxophone Day, Marooned Without A Compass Day, National Young Reader's Day

7th: National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day, National Men Make Dinner Day, Notary Public Day, Cook Something Bold Day

8th: Dunce Day,Abet and Aid Punsters Day, Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day, National Ample Time Day, National Parents As Teachers Day

9th: Chaos Never Dies Day

10th: Forget-Me-Not Day, USMC Day

11th: Air Day, Death/Duty Day, Veteran's Day, Vox Populi Day

12th: National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day, Chicken Soup For The Soul Day

13th: National Indian Pudding Day, World Kindness Day

14th: Operation Room Nurse Day, Young Readers Day

15th: National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, America Recycles Day, National Philanthropy Day

16th: Button Day, Have a Party with Your Bear Day

17th: Take A Hike Day, World Peace Day

18th: Occult Day, Great American Smokeout

19th: Have A Bad Day Day

20th: Absurdity Day, Beautiful Day, Universal Children's Day

21st: World Hello Day, False Confessions Day

22nd: Start Your Own Country Day, Go For a Ride Day

23rd: National Cashew Day, You're Welcome Day

24th: Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day, Thanksgiving Day

25th: National Parfait Day

26th: Shopping Reminder Day, Buy Nothing Day

27th: Pins And Needles Day

28th: Make Your Own Head Day, Red Planet Day

29th: Square Dance Day

30th: Stay At Home Because You're Well Day


To find November Holidays in other countries, click here


Technorati tags: november, holidays, thanksgiving, veterans day, bizarre

posted by jane at 10:31 PM

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Happy Candy Corn Day!

Did you know October 30th is officially National Candy Corn Day? While no one is positive, tradition has it that George Runninger at Wunderle Candy Co. of Philadelphia, came up with the first candy corn in the 1880s. Jelly Belly started making it in 1898 when they were the Goelitz Confectionery Company of Cincinnati, Ohio. To this day they still use the original recipe.
Back in the day, Candy Corn workers were called 'runners' and each one was responsible for making 50 batches per day. To achieve the 3 colors, runners had to make three separate "passes" with 50 pounds of hot steaming fondant depositing a little bit of candy at just the right rate into cornstarch molds with the kernel shape. The same technique is used today, although it's done by machine.
~ Some Candy Corn Trivia ~

~ Candy Corn has survived 2 world wars & the Depression.

~ Candy Corn was popular among farmers because of it's agricultural look.

~ The line has also been made in such various shapes as chestnuts, turnips and over leaves.

~ The current line includes: Cupid Corn, Bunny Corn and Reindeer Corn for the other seasons.

~ According to the National Confectioners Association, more than 35 million pounds of Candy Corn are made annually. (approx. 9 billion kernels) That's enough to circle the moon 4 times if laid end-to-end.

~ Candy Corn contains no fat & has 4 calories per kernel.

~ Halloween constitutes 75% of annual Candy Corn production.


Technorati tags: candy corn, jelly belly, national candy corn day, cincinnati, philadelphia

posted by jane at 8:40 PM

Friday, October 28, 2005

Redemption?

On Dec. 13, 2005, Stanley "Tookie" Williams is scheduled to be executed in California at San Quentin's Death Row. His attorneys have applied & been denied a 9 day delay in his execution, in hopes of giving them more time to apply to the governor for clemency. Their request was denied.
Tookie has been convicted of murdering 4 people in 1979 and he's a co-founder of the Crips, one of the largest, if not the largest, gangs in the country. He's also a 5 time Nobel Peace Prize nominee, 4 time Nobel Prize nominee, recipient of a President's Call to Service Award, author of several children's books & the subject of a made-for-TV movie starring Jamie Foxx called, "Redemption."

In 1979, Tookie was a 25 year old member of the Crips gang. He's been convicted of killing a convenience store worker, a married couple that owned a motel in Los Angeles, and their daughter. In 1981, Williams was sentenced to death. Williams has always maintained his innocence.
Since his incarceration, Williams has turned his life around in what can only be deemed as rehabilitation. He's denounced his gang life and from his cell, has helped educate kids about the dangers of gangs. As a result of the movie, "Redemption", thousands of gang members wrote & said his life story helped them turn their lives around. In August, when he received the President's Award, he also got a letter from President Bush praising him for demonstrating "The outstanding character of America."
I find myself wanting this man to receive clemency. With clemency he would remain incarcerated for life, but he'd still be able to reach kids. This man's life since incarceration is a testament of what rehabilitation should be. I realize he was never a candidate to be rehabilitated, but he has been. If he's granted clemency, he's continually benefiting society, while remaining incarcerated for life.
Can anything but execution constitute redemption? Isn't he worth more alive than dead?
What are your thoughts about this?

You can read more about him at: http://www.tookie.com/

Technorati tags: stanley tookie williams, san quentin prison, death penalty, gangs, nobel prize, president bush, clemency, author, murder

posted by jane at 10:11 PM

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Time

I was supposed to visit my aunt today, but couldn't because I've had a bad headache, plus she has stomach problems today. A week ago Saturday my cousins hired a full time nurse's aide to stay with her as she could no longer walk or do things without assistance. When I saw Aunty last week, I didn't think she'd be here this week, nor did my cousins.
I didn't like her nurse's aide because she seemed too loud, laughing & opening the blinds, opening the sliding glass door...my aunt didn't like it that way & we respected her wishes. This nurse's aide supposedly has a lot of hospice experience, caring for the terminally ill. To me it seemed she had anything but. When I left last week & hugged her, her eyes looked right through me & they became teary. I told her I love her & stopped myself from saying I was going to miss her. I had to leave as I couldn't even talk & I left crying. On my way home I realized it was time to start letting go. I wrote a blog post the following day as I was overwhelmed with emotion, but I didn't publish it. I'm glad I didn't.
Aunty has made a HUGE turn for the better. Saturday she even let Lola put a little makeup on her & wanted her pictures taken, 1 with Lola & 1 with the aide. She LOVES her nurse's aide. It seems this aide knows something we didn't. The sunlight, the fresh air, happy attitude have helped my aunt tremendously. On Tuesday she even went downstairs to listen to the pianist play. (this was the first time since she was hospitalized) My mom & her boyfriend, Fast Eddie, were there & he sang some songs in Spanish. I guess he didn't remember all the words & was quickly corrected by the attentive ears.
2 friends of Aunty's are visiting her from Arkansas. When she found out they were coming, she didn't want them to because she was so sick. Now, she's thrilled they're here & they visited for 1 1/2 hours yesterday. Aunty has even asked Lola if she'll drive her & her friends around Balboa beach. She also wants to get out in her wheelchair. When I talked with her the other day on the phone, the change in her voice was unbelievable.
*While she still has cancer & diagnosed with a short time to live it now seems she has more than a few weeks, as we thought. When I wrote the blog entry (the one I didn't publish) I had 1 desire: to have more time with her. In just 1 short week, it looks like we have exactly that!

*I added this sentence to avoid confusion that it's emission caused. I apologize.

posted by jane at 2:10 PM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Rest of the Story

Thanks for the supportive & touching comments you've all left regarding the last post. I haven't replied to them, as I normally do, in the comment's section because this is very awkward for me. Since a few have asked if I left him & what his future was like, I've written this:

Until a few years ago, I didn't know what emotional abuse was, much less that I'd been a victim of it. During our marriage, I couldn't go anywhere with the few friends I had, couldn't go to Tupperware parties with co-workers, or even spend my own paychecks. He had me convinced that I was the worst person & mother that ever existed. I was by no means an angel, but I also wasn't innately evil, as I'd been convinced.
The worst times were when he drank. He'd have blackouts & wouldn't remember what he said or did. When I was a waitress, I'd eat for free after I got off work, by the time I got home, he was already drunk out of his mind & accusing me of having affairs. Obviously, I stopped eating after work. To this day I am extremely uneasy around anybody that drinks alcohol & it's one of the reasons I believe alcohol is one of the worst drugs.
Our pattern was pretty much 6 months-on, 6 months-off. On the 'off' months there was no regular visitation or any child support. While I was not in a good place myself because of drugs; he was in a worse place. I'd somehow managed to maintain a steady job, keep the kids in daycare, pay the bills, buy food and afford a habit. He just had his habit. When I left him for the last time, it was because I didn't want our kids growing up in that environment. I knew that without him, I'd hit bottom sooner & have to get off drugs. One year later, I did just that.

When I finally stood up to him, I filed for divorce. He threatened he was going to get custody of our kids. I called his bluff and went through with it. He didn't get a lawyer. He didn't even show up at court.
Our divorce was final in February of 1985, almost on our 3rd anniversary. In August of 1985, I entered my first drug rehab. I used heroin while in rehab & it was no surprise that when I left, I was using on a regular basis. The descent from there was swift. By February of 1986, I was in my 2nd drug rehab, this time for a total of 15 months. Thankfully, my oldest brother & his wife took care of my kids the entire time.
When I got out in May of 1987, my kids & I moved from the city I'd lived my entire life to a city about 60 miles south. My parents had moved there in 1985 & wanted us to join them.
When our divorce was final, my last name was changed back to my maiden name. My kids were using my last name even though it wasn't legally theirs. In 1988, I had both of their middle & last names changed. From then on, I never listed his name on any forms, for fear that he may find out where they went to school & steal them.
I've heard women say that being a single parent is difficult. For me, it was heaven. I could buy the kids whatever toys & clothes I wanted to. I could make decisions without having to ask, or worrying about what he'd say. The simplest of freedoms was a breath of fresh air.

Many of you have asked if he self-destructed. Well, yes and no. He'd been self-destructing since he was about 14 years old. On his behalf, I have to say, he had a childhood from hell. He also went through a drug rehab and many years of therapy. He's actually doing well now. He's been remarried for about 16 years, has been sober for 15 years & has another child.
Even though he only saw the kids a few times throughout the years, he now sees our son on a regular basis. My son has always needed a father & while my dad filled that void for many years, he passed away in 1993. My son has never been the same since. So the fact that he & his dad see each other a lot is a good thing. My daughter sees their dad perhaps a few times a year, but feels uneasy about it. She says the man she considered her father, died in 1993. Both of my kids believe I did the right thing for them. I never thought I'd say this, but their dad isn't a bad role model for them now & I no longer hate him.

posted by jane at 12:37 AM

Monday, October 24, 2005

One October Night

23 years ago, almost to the day, I was 8 months pregnant with our 2nd child. We also had a baby girl that was nearing her 2nd birthday. She wore corrective shoes at night that were screwed on to a bar because of a problem with her legs. My husband and I were still newlyweds, yet we were already separated.At 24 years old, I was now living back at my parents & he with his family.

On this particular night, he called me, drunk & accusing me of all sorts of things; none were true. This was the norm when he drank, he would have blackouts & wouldn't remember anything he did the next day. (Physical abuse wasn't really his thing, he was more into emotional torture & tearing me apart, 1 shred at a time) The phone conversation went on for quite some time & then he started crying. I finally said, "Okay you're right, I"m sorry." To which he laughed & said, "I knew that! You fucking bitch! " and hung up.

About 30 minutes later I hear a knock at the front door. His sister dropped him off so that we could 'talk'. I let him in & he says he's going to get the baby and take her away from me. I beg & beg him to leave her alone as she's sleeping. When he goes in to get her, I call the Operator. (there was no 911 then) I'm trying to whisper to her to notify the police, but while I'm whispering he walks out with our daughter. I immediately hang up the phone. He's holding the baby in 1 arm & a beer bottle in the next. She's groggy as she was asleep & is wearing her correction bar. The phone rings.
I don't answer it, but he hands me the baby, as he can't put the beer bottle down. (thankfully) And I hear him, "No, no, there's no emergency here." He hangs up & says to me, "I"m going to kill you." At this point, he's on the other side of the counter in the kitchen & I realize I've got a few seconds on him. As fast as I could, at 8 months pregnant & a baby in my arms, I ran & unlocked the door, went outside & start screaming for help.
I get near the end of the walkway & he's catches up to me. He tries to grab her out of my arms. I've got one end, he's got another & I'm screaming for somebody, anybody to call the police. If I don't let go of my daughter she's going to be seriously injured. So, I let her go.
One neighbor comes out & sees us, but then just goes back inside. Somehow I fall over a low fence that surrounds our yard. I don't know if I just fell or was pushed, but I was worried about my unborn baby. Around this time I hear another neighbor yell, "We've called the police."
He's got my daughter now, she's crying & he's walking away, drunk with her at God-only- knows what hour of the night. I can hardly see them as they're getting further away, but I can still hear her crying for me.
As I'm hysterically crying outside, in my nightgown, a Sheriff's car pulls up. Back from the dark he comes walking with the baby. The officer is rather nonchalant about this & my husband kind of laughs & tells the officer he was just messing with me & was going to bring her back. I'm hysterical & just want my daughter. He gives her to me & gets in the back of the patrol car & driven away.
I go inside, call a friend down the street & fortunately, her husband comes with a gun, to walk my daughter & I back to their house for the night. I kept expecting him to jump from behind a bush & do something. But we make it to their home safely.
Fortunately, when I go to my doctor, he says that the baby seems to be fine.
I found out later, the Sheriff's officers just drove him around the block & dropped him off. Even though he lived about 10 miles away. But that's how it was back then.

posted by jane at 12:02 PM

I Wish Chocolate Were A Vegetable

I'd eat vegetables for breakfast
and vegetables for lunch
vegetables for dinner,
I'd even sneak in brunch

Carrots turn you orange,
would chocolate turn you brown?
If that's so, I'd surely be
the tannest one around

Until a genie grants my wish,
sugar-free it must be,
If this is Greek to you,
it means Sorbitol
that just spells G-A-S for me!

posted by jane at 1:11 AM

Friday, October 21, 2005

Read this if you have a driver's license

I just received the most disturbing email from Tarzan. It gives a website & supposedly every Driver's License in America is available for everybody else to see. That means strangers can get your address, license number and picture. I went to this site & entered my information. It's TRUE! There is a box at the bottom that you can check to have your license removed. Then, only police officers will have access to it. Thanks a lot Homeland Security!


Click HERE to be linked immediately.

posted by jane at 4:17 PM

Thursday, October 20, 2005

What does your bloglist say about you?

Have you ever wondered what your bloglist says about you? Okay, I'm sure most haven't. I have & I think all our lists say something about our personality. I think it's a mosaic of sorts, one we make unintentionally, but nevertheless, we only select certain blogs for a reason.

~ Some folks have tons of blogs on their list, but don't necessarily visit them.
~ Others have no bloglist.
~ Some tradeoff with others: "Link my blog on your blog & I'll link yours on mine."
~ Some try to visit everybody on their bloglist on a regular basis.
I fall into the latter category & try to visit everyone at least once a week. It gets challenging at times, but I find reading blogs to be relaxing, especially now. It's also a way I'm comfortable with getting to know others. Being on another's bloglist isn't all that important, but visiting each other's blogs is what matters to me.

Would you, could you categorize all of your blogs as one sort? I surely couldn't.
One common thread thru all of my blogs is they're not arguementative. I actually have 4 lists now: 1 is people I read daily. Next is people I read at least every week. Thirdly is blogs that constitute Bipolar Planet Webring, I try to read at least twice a week. Lastly, new blogs that I've started reading & am keeping an eye on. Somehow, that's how I make sense out of what may look confusing, lol.

My blog list is a hodge podge: a lot of artistic people, some poets, a few are political blogs, some are from other countries, there are photographers, some crass blogs..which I consider comedy, I need these blogs! One is a fictional story line of dressed up, painted up dolls & stuffed animals, another is a Mom's son that talks football, girls, bands and more girls...but he loves his mom and that's just the best! Then there are those brave enough to write journals of their life; I admire that.
So, you see, my blog list is representative of my many moods, my appreciation for people of all walks, and my love in general for others.

How does a blog make your bloglist? Once on, do they stay on? Is there a method to the madness? What does your bloglist say about you?

posted by jane at 11:04 PM

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

20 things about meme

Pansi of The Pansi Files has tagged me to do a meme. Normally, I don't do them, but I'm going to brave the storm & do this one. Thanks Pansi, Henny & Dee for thinking of me, this is for all of you.

1. I am bipolar and diabetic.
2. I fainted during a breath holding contest in 6th grade. But I WON!
3. I wish I'd let my dad know I loved him more often before he died.
4. When I was 17, my friends & I robbed a Winchell's Donut Shop.
5. I am madly in love with Tarzan.
6. One of my favorite colors is brown.
7. When I was 5, in 1963, my family offered me $5.00 to not talk for 5 minutes. I couldn't do it.
8. I'm an ex-heroin addict and an ex-smoker.
9. Aside from Tarzan & my family, I have 1 real-life in-person (sorta) friend & I'm content with that.
10. We've been best friends for 30 years.
11. My real life friend & I have only seen each other 2 times since we both got off heroin, but we talk a few times a month.
12. In 1977, we both bought one-way tickets to Hawaii & showed up, unannounced, at someone's house that we'd only known for 1 week. (but he & i still talk to this day)
13. I wake Tarzan up in the middle of the night and talk to him, but he doesn't remember.
14. When I sing, people tell me to STOP.
15. When I was little I was called Freckle Face Strawberry.
16. Sometimes I dance like a ballerina when I'm alone.
17. I always think someone is watching me in stores.
18. When my kids were teens, I let them make prank calls to restaurants. "Mike Hunt, paging Mike Hunt."
19. I hate to admit it, but I see the glass as half empty
20. I am humbled when I consider the friends I've made since blogging

20-a. I don't care for doing meme's.
20-b. This meme meets my annual requirement of 1 1/2 meme's. (My 1/2 a meme was when Cheryl of Mad Baggage asked me to & I did, but then I removed it)
20-c. If you want to do this meme, please tell me so in comments, I'll post the link on this page & will DEFINITELY check it out.
20-d. I've said it before and I'll say it again: The Pansi Files is the funniest blog in Blogistan.

The Bipolar's World is the first to step up to the plate and take the meme challenge. Way to go BP! Please visit his blog & read 20 things about him.

The Other Stevie at Mind Tricks has also taken the challenge & written 30 things about her. Make sure you visit her blog too. Also, she's a very gifted artist, check out her work.

Barb at Bloggo Chicago is participating and already has her '20 things about meme' post up on her blog!

We've got another taker! DaddyJarBucks at Wasted Days and Melted Brains Unite has not only done 20, but 30 things about him. Way to go Jarjar!

Always_bluis a young lady I've only recently met, but she's already made a lasting impression. Please stop by her blog to read her '20 things about meme'.

posted by jane at 11:39 AM

Monday, October 17, 2005

It's raining

I love the rain. I never tire of it, not even when they say we've had enough. So it seems appropriate that it's raining today, both physically & metaphorically. I can't stop crying. I am not depressed, I know this because I can identify what's got me down. When I'm depressed, I can just identify the problem as 'everything.'
Aunty, Caveboy, the change in Medicare/Medi-Cal, headaches, endless appointments I need to make and fear of someone else dying, are all overwhelming me right now.

My aunt has had a good life & I know that she's old, but I love her so much & I don't want to her to die. There aren't any other words to say; just sadness today.
Caveboy isn't doing good. I've talked to him 2 times in the past 1 1/2 months. He's working, but the pattern I see, with him, drinking and now drugs, is all too familiar. He uses his past episodes of depression & suicide attempts to try & manipulate myself & Cavegirl. My mom does things for him because she's afraid of what he might do, he doesn't even need to mention anything to her, he knows it's always on her mind. It's always on Cavegirl's & my mind too, he just doesn't know it. I'm afraid he's going to hurt or kill others while drinking & driving, end up in jail (which is the least of my fears), or end up dead...accident, murdered or suicide. I've let him know I'm always here, but I won't give him anymore money & I have definitely distanced myself. No matter how much I understand the rationale of tough love, it doesn't make it any easier. There is no consoling feeling even though I'm doing the right thing. The pain, the worry is so fucking deep inside of my heart; words don't exist in my vocabulary to describe this hurt. You know what it is? It's a sick & twisted waiting game...that's what it gets down to.
As much as I don't want to die, I want to die before Tarzan, my mom, or my kids die. See, I'm frustrated because the words for how I feel just are 'stuck' somewhere, but I can't find them. I'm tired of people dying, being sick, hurting...life just isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes I think its hugely overrated.
Medicare is changing it's prescription coverage & since I'm also on State Aid, known in California as Medi-Cal and generically as Medicaid; I'm not sure how this will affect me. I call the Medi-Cal office & they say, 'don't worry, no changes.' Then give me the # to the Medicare office. But the problem is, there's nobody in the middle to translate this for me. Both are government entities, (yippee) one state, one federal, so it's a bunch of bureaucratic red tape. But if I do nothing, I may be stuck having to pay cash for my medicines, which are easily over $500 a month.
Which brings me to my headaches, the one I have today, that I've had daily since I mentioned it a week or so ago. Now when I turn my head to the right or left, I get this weird electrical twinge, I don't know how else to explain it. It's in my eyes, my neck & my ears. I also hear a constant ringing in my ears that sounds like an electrical line. I fell about a month ago, tripped over an uneven sidewalk & fell so fast I didn't have time to brace myself, except with 2 knuckles. I landed flat on my chest & fortunately, landed on the grass, not the sidewalk. I've had xrays of my chest taken (and also of my lungs to see if I have lung cancer, just as precautionary, because I know once you have the physical symptoms, it's too late) but I'm still waiting to hear from my doctor's office.
This brings me to my endless appointments. I hate leaving the house. The best way I can explain it is when I leave the house, I don't feel grounded. It's like a helium balloon on a string, anchored down with a weight. When I leave the house, it's like cutting the string....I'm just 'out' there. Once I get to my car the feeling is generally gone, but it's hell getting there.
So, the one time a week I stay with my aunt is a LOT of going out for me. I can never get enough of staying at home. But I have to make appointments for a mammogram, gynecologist, chiropractor, regular doctor, neurologist & the optometrist. If I call them, that will mean more than 1 appointment a week which means I'd have to go out of my house more than 2 times a week.
All the appointments, the fears of someone I love getting hurt or dying and my inability to figure out this Medicare stuff AND the fact that I can't even sew a stupid pocket for an apron has me 'stuck'.........stuck in some emotional paralysis.

posted by jane at 2:30 PM

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sunday Surprises

Today Tarzan, myself & Cavegirl went to visit my aunt. On our way there, Tarzan stopped to get gas. Cavegirl was sitting in the back seat of the truck & starting saying, "No, No. Please tell me that's a rubberband". I knew something was desperately wrong. I turned around and she was literally speechless. Then she said, "There's a snake!"
This didn't sound out of the question as Tarzan had taken a bag out of his closet & put it in the back seat. A few months ago he found a baby snake in our bedroom, actually on MY side of the bed. (I shudder to relive that moment) Caveboy used to have pet snakes, some he caught in the wild. On 2 occasions they got out of their cage, of course, both incidents happened when he was sleeping over at a friends house. So when Cavegirl said, "Snake", I knew she meant SNAKE!
I saw the snake on the floor of the truck, it's body was under a towel & it's head facing Cavegirl. My door flew open & I opened hers, we both jumped about 10 feet away from the truck and as soon as I saw Tarzan I yelled, "Hurry, there's a snake in the truck." Tarzan came running out, by this time the couple in front of us were watching too. I pointed to where the snake was & Tarzan saw it, he reached in & once he went to grab it I remembered a fake snake he'd bought a month or so ago. It's made of wood, but very shiny & is made in about 20 sections so it bends exactly like a snake. Then I said, "That had better not be that damn fake snake." It was! He picked it up & put it in my face, laughing like a junior high boy. I, of course, screamed. The man in front of us started laughing & the lady with him said, "I'd kill him for that." I was thinking about it...

We only visited for a short time as Aunty tires easily. My aunt is getting her meals delivered to her room & when I asked if she ate much breakfast she said she ate the oatmeal & would've eaten the eggs but... Then she pointed for me to look under the silver dome covering her plate (I was imagining something a la 'Whatever Happened to BabyJane' about now) I lifted the lid & there were no eggs, just 2 pieces of toast & sausage. She then said, "Read what I wrote to them."
Every meal my aunt writes a note on the paper placemat on top of the tray. The kitchen staff usually writes 'Good Morning' or something similar to that. So, I read the note my aunt wrote aloud:

"Thank you for the breakfast. The O.J. was good and so was the oatmeal. But where are my eggs? I think my eggs scrambled away. I would have like to eaten them. You goofed on this one. But I still love all of you."

We all laughed including Aunty & she said, "Well, I don't want to be too harsh. Afterall, they do cook my food." Aunty may be physically tired, but mentally she's still a pistol!

posted by jane at 3:46 PM

Friday, October 14, 2005

Memories Shared

I went to my aunt's on Wednesday, as did my cousins Lola & her older sister, Lupe. Aunty had a very bad night & only slept a little because she had trouble breathing. Today a nurse came & put her on oxygen to help her. She's also supposed to keep her bed propped up a little bit.
They changed her pain medicine again as the pain is increasing. Last week they put her on hydrocodone & now they're putting her on a 12 hour time-released morphine pill. On hydrocodone, the pain was higher when it was just taken or when it was wearing off, now it should be more consistently controlled. Lola has also explained to her that she should always be at '0' level of pain, there's no need for her to hurt. Neither myself, my mom or my 2 cousins believe the 6 month estimate is accurate, but we'd never say that in front of Aunty.
She got up and ate about 1/2 of her breakfast & while she was at the table, I asked her if they had a t.v. when she was a child. She smiled and told me that television wasn't yet invented. (I felt rather dumb for not knowing that) But then she told me about their first t.v. set. She was at home & a man knocked on their door, my aunt was probably just about 25 or so with 3 little kids. So, she naively listened & watched as this man said he had a t.v. for them, then proceeded to put the t.v. on top of their stand-up piano. She told me they loved the t.v., but she still didn't know why he'd given it to them. A few days later, the man reappeared at her door, said he'd made a mistake and took the t.v. away! We all laughed at this story. She thinks it helped them to get a t.v. sooner because my uncle got to watch boxing & liked it as much as she & the kids.
Lola went & got us lunch & the 3 of us went outside to talk. While we were out there, Aunty was able to finally fall asleep. My cousins & I have always been close but this was the first time we ever talked about their childhood. Lola told me that one of their favorite 'toys' when they were little was trapdoor spiders. She said they'd see one, open the trap door & get so excited when the spider came crawling out. I can't even visualize Lola or Lupe ever touching a spider! This reminded of when Caveboy was young & we were at our poorest, he used to fly junebug's on a string.
Lola also told me they used to make little cylinders out of dirt. They make a small pile, poke a hole in the middle & slowly pour water down the hole. She said if you waited a while, then gently break away the dirt, there would be a small 'pot' at the bottom. I'd imagine as a child, it must have seemed like magic.
She told me that at schools in East L.A. (in the late 40s) every morning they'd give kids a spoonful of cod liver oil & slice of an orange. If kids bought a school lunch, their younger siblings were also allowed to get a daily dose. This was to help kids stay well & according to her, it did. But cod liver oil? ack!
At 2:00, Lupe & I were going to leave, but then Lola said not to ever leave without telling Aunty we were leaving. We didn't want to wake her as she'd been so tired. Fortunately, Aunty woke up & we both said our goodbyes, hugged & kissed her. When Lola asked about us leaving without waking her, she shook her head, NO. When I'm with them, I don't remember think about them having cancer. I think at the time, we're all too caught up living life & enjoying each other's company.

I'm looking forward to Sunday as Tarzan and I will visit with Aunty again...

posted by jane at 4:01 PM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Jane loves Tarzan!

Today is our 9th Anniversary. Now I know that many of you who are Tarzan fans believe we've been together since the Dark Ages, but that's just a myth. You probably believe that because you heard Tarzan's side of the story and he says it feels like we've been together since then.
Just as George Washington didn't really chop down a cherry tree and Columbus didn't really discover America, Tarzan and Jane didn't adopt a boy, they adopted a pig! All I can say in Tarzan's defense is, he's got quite an imagination.
We actually met online & I made the first move. This wasn't my normal M.O. Actually, there was no "normal" M.O. as I'd been out of the dating scene since 1986. We met in 1996. I was manic, which is the 'up' part of bipolar disorder. I wouldn't be diagnosed bipolar for 2 more years. Back to how we met ~ I was reading profiles of people in the same city I lived in & there was his. I liked what I read about him & sent him a message via our internet provider. Then we talked on the telephone and shortly thereafter, we met. He was the quiet, shy type & I wasn't.
We hit it off right away as we discovered we'd grown up in the same area, I knew some people he knew in high school and we were both Dodger fans. (I'm defecting next year)
During our first month together, we went to Mammoth for 2 days. He couldn't believe that as a native Californian, I'd never been there. So for 5 1/2 hours we drove in his little red sportscar to stay one night. There was just a small amount of snow on the ground, just enough to have a snowfight. Now, if you were to hear him tell the snowfight story, he'd say he won. And he did. Sorta. He did hit me about 100 times every place on my body BUT I got the best shot in! I beaned him 1 time dead center on his forehead! And given that he's 6 feet tall & I'm 5'4, I take that as a victory!
Shortly after we met I started this weird ritual. One time I noticed he had bellybutton lint. I started saving it in this little red glass candle holder. Believe it or not, I was hoping to save enough (eventually) to make a little something like those apple faces they made out of stuffed stockings. Okay, it would have to be a very small one and don't forget, I was manic. So I saved lint for an entire California winter. The following winter as I collected my first lintball I went to put the lint in the container and it was empty! I asked Tarzan about it and he said he'd forgotten what it was, thought it was dust or dirt & emptied it. I was devastated!
We were together for almost a year before he said that he loved me. But I realized something after he said he did: he didn't even have to tell me because he showed me everyday. Although I love to hear him say it, since it's such a rare occasion, I have never doubted his love for me. I don't know if the love we share is the same kind as others share, I just know that our love feels perfect & gets stronger with time.
Tomorrow night, as always, I will ask Tarzan to tell me "Our Story" of how we met. As always, he will try to get out of it & then finally give in. But he'll get up to a certain point & 'forget' at which time I have to fill in the blanks. I'm hoping I'll hear "Our Story" forever.

Jane loves you, Tarzan!

posted by jane at 7:05 PM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Counting my blessings

I just spent 1/2 hour writing an entry that Blogger annihilated. Ugh. Before I go on, 1 more complaint about Blogger...what's up with the word verification? I mean, why do they have to make it so difficult? And why stick a slanted 'm' by a slanted 'n' or a 'v' next to a 'w' when the letters are almost touching? Sometimes I have to try 3 times before I get the letters right. I've written to them about this as it's really frustrating if you have any sort of sight problem. Enough about that...

Ever since I began blogging, I've considered myself fortunate to have the group of blogger friends that I do. Yes, I call you friends even though we've never met in person. But now, I consider myself so beyond fortunate, I don't even know the word for it. Having some place safe, somewhere that I know I can be real & that I'm not going to get ridiculed, is immeasurable right now. Your support is what's literally holding me together at times. So, to each of you, please accept an extremely grateful 'thank you'. I consider myself more than fortunate, I consider myself blessed for your friendship.
When I wrote my previous entry, it was in the middle of the night, before I went to care for my aunt. Fortunately, by morning both my migraine & tearfulness was gone. Last night my migraine was back full force, but I can deal with this at nights. As long as I'm okay when I go to Aunty's.
I spent about 4 hours with my aunt yesterday. Her new doctor, a young Vietnamese gentleman, came to see her & spent over an hour answering all of her questions. He can't be more than 27 or so, and is in his last year as an intern (?). It's been my experience that these are the best physicians to have. They are full of the newest information and are enthusiastic. He made a few adjustments with her medicine & said the 6 month estimation is pretty accurate.
When he was leaving, my aunt who was sitting in her recliner, put her arms out to hug him. I could tell no patient had ever done that. As they hugged, she kept thanking him & he seemed almost speechless, but then I heard him whisper to her, "God bless you."
Even though Aunty tires easily, she talks to me about lots of things. She knows that I love to hear stories of my ancestors and her life. Yesterday, she was telling me that even though she'd lived most of her life in East L.A., her first trip to the beach wasn't until she was 14. It wasn't with her family, but with some neighbors who were going. For some reason, she says, she fell asleep on her stomach & when she woke up she couldn't move as she was severely sunburned. To this day she avoids direct sunlight as much as possible because of her memories of that beach trip.
She also told me that one of her favorite movies was "Fried Green tomatoes", but she called it "Green Fried tomatoes". She remembers every detail of the movie & although I've never seen it, I'll try to rent it so I can watch it soon.
After talking about this, she told me she was too tired to talk anymore. With that, she closed her eyes & dozed off in her recliner. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful & peaceful she was as she slept.

I'll write more on this soon..

posted by jane at 2:42 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

A heavy heart

I can't sleep. I was fine until I started getting a headache, then realized it was in my left eye. A migraine. I went & laid in bed, then the crying started. I began thinking of Aunty & Lola. Tomorrow I go stay with my aunt for 4 hours, then I'll go back on Wednesday. I'm going tomorrow because Lola & my mom are going to the funeral of an uncle that died last week.
Death is on my mind. It's all around. It's like something is telling me that summer, in the scheme of life, is over. Gone are the days of laughter, sunshine & being carefree. Now, winter is here. Darkness, cold, death, it's all here & I can feel it breath on me. More are going to die, there will be no respite. I don't know if this feeling is because I'm bipolar, a sign of depression, or if it's truly a premonition of things to come.
The last thing I feel like hearing are cliches about 'everybody has to die'. This has nothing to do with eternity or religion or salvation, faith, spirituality. I'm sorry, but right now, F*ck all that.
My aunt is dying & has been given 6 weeks to 6 months to live. She's already on pain medicine 24/7 & pancreatic cancer is the most painful of all. An uncle that had it told my mom that if he weren't Catholic, he would have killed himself because the pain was so unbearable. He died a few months after diagnosis. Same with his wife, my aunt who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 1996. She died 3 months after being diagnosed.
There are words that I can't find and so all I can do is cry. Lola is going to be 60 this week & she does not want to die. I know I've said this before, but this is her 3rd bout with breast cancer and it's just so f*cking unfair! I know life isn't fair, but f*ck this sh*t. (I'm trying not to cuss)
My heart just aches so deep inside. So much that it physically hurts. I don't want her to die.
Encouraging words are not doing the job right now. If positive thoughts paid off, Lola would be in prime health.
Last week when I went to stay with Aunty, I knew that Lola was there. As I was driving up the hill to the apartments I became overcome with sadness. It felt as though reality had a choke hold on me. In one year, I thought, they may both be gone. I started crying but I had to find a way to contain myself once I went in Aunty's home. I managed to do just that. Our visit was very pleasant. I think I'm going to ask her tomorrow if she'd like me to read to her.
Neither my aunt nor my cousin know that I'm despondent over this. I mean, they both know I love them very much, but I do not show this side of me to them. They need support & pleasantness.

Death is one of the downfalls of being in a large family with lots of relatives. Tarzan is almost 45 and has never been to a funeral. I've been to so many, I cannot remember them all. Funerals don't get easier with time. Each one still hurts & more for some than others.
I imagine what I'm saying makes no sense, or sounds like I"m whining, or I don't know what it may sound like. But I have to write about this because I can't talk with anybody about it, not in detail like I am.
I have this overwhelming fear that people are going to start dropping like flies. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live through the deaths of people I love either. I know that is very selfish.

My immediate dilemma is to find a way to not cry on my way to my aunts. For some reason, I know I'm avoiding thinking that Lola might die soon. There are benefits to knowing someone is dying as you can spend more time with them & prepare yourself. Nobody in my family has died a sudden death, with the exception of my Grandma who died at 101 years old, in 1993.
I'm open to any input, especially from people who have gone through this.

posted by jane at 12:22 AM

Saturday, October 08, 2005

What grosses you out?

In my last post, I mentioned that sometimes my piggy sneezes on my hand while I'm feeding her grapes. For Mark and 3T, this was a bit too much information & it grossed them out.
This got me thinking....we all have something that really grosses us out.

Things that gross me out are to be around anybody who is drinking milk. I can't eat hot cereal in the presence of others, or watch someone eating hot cereal. I will gag & have to get up & leave if either of those occur. When I'm eating and I happen to think about Fast Eddie's meth-head son-in-law, James, who pulled all his teeth, but 2, out with pliers, I get grossed out. In this case, I'd quit eating & throw the food away.

What grosses you out? Maybe we can have a winner at the end! (maybe?)

Weirdso says: Once I hit a deer. Its testicles were entangled in the grill work of my car. That was gross.

Yep, Weirdso, that's pretty gross.

posted by jane at 11:31 PM

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Fridays with Cheeta

Do you remember when you were a kid & got sick, how good it felt when your mom would rub your back? Or lay in bed with you, even though you were now 10 or so. It always made me feel better. Our treat when we were sick was 7up, chicken noodle soup & comic books.
As a parent, kids get less needy as they get older & when they get sick, they're so sweet & it kinda feels good for them to need you again. They want to be held & hugged & are so compliant, no arguing & they aren't yelling, "NO!" It's as though they're revisiting the days of when they were such an loving & affection baby.
This is what Fridays with Cheetah are like. It's gardening days at our complex & many gardeners are out there with their edge trimmers, lawn mowers and rakes! Oh, she hates the rakers! They scare her. So, my finicky piggy who normally snubs her nose at my affections, likes to come stand by me. Better yet, she likes to lay right by my feet when I'm on the computer. I can pet her & pet her all I want without her snapping her mouth at me. (This is 1/2 fun & 1/2 finickiness for her) But on Fridays, she's mine, all mine. Shortly after 1 o'clock, it all ends. She's aware they're gone & now she's back to Miss Independence.

Then, I give her some grapes, she gets them handfed to her as she obediently sits. Have you ever been sneezed on by a pig as you're handfeeding it grapes? Have you ever looked at the size of a pig's nostrils? They are HUGE. Now, imagine your hand right under said blowholes. It's messy. But actually, it's hilarious too.
I can always feel her sneezes coming, but once I start feeding her treats, she doesn't like to wait. So, I brave the coming storm, brace myself & keep shoveling the grapes, one by one, until an eruption evolves from her nostrils & soaks my generous hand. And then, I keep feeding her grapes until she's eaten every last one. Then, I get up to go and wash my hands.

Since most of you probably haven't lived with a 4-legged pig in your house, you probably don't know that they also make a moo'ing noise when concerned or looking for someone. When she runs, she barks. It's a very deep and loud bark. Last week as we were walking her, she was startled & let out a deep bark. Our neighbor's daughter (in her teens) happened to look over & my hand was over my mouth. (I forget why) But the girl looked at me and said, "Was that you?" She thought I belched!

Everyday she gets 2 scoops (about a tbsp. each) of raspberry flavored pellets with selenium & other vitamins in them. 1 scoop in the morning & 1 before bed. She knows when it's time for her treats & also if she's being shorted a scoop. I put each scoop in a 1'x 1' box that has building blocks in it. Pigs love rooting & she gets to root through the box to get all of the pellets I've scattered in the box. When she wants her treats, she goes over to a floor fan & at the bottom of the fan, covering the legs is a plastic covering. She moves the plastic covering up & down so it makes a sort of clicking noise. This is how she communicates. Normally her timing is just right & at night if she goes over there Tarzan will look at me & I'll say, "She's right, she has 1 more scoop coming." After she gets her scoop, she's tucked into her pillows & blankets for the night.

posted by jane at 10:30 PM

The Liv Kit

As most women know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. But men, don't dismiss this post so soon. There's information at the bottom for you, too.

I'm sure there's oodles of blogs posting about this right now, but I'd just like to mention something I've learned about & may purchase. It's called The Liv Kit & is named after Olivia Newton-John. What I like about this kit, it includes a glove for breast examinations. It's supposed to be equivalent to a magnifying glass, thus making any lumps easier to feel. The glove is made of soft, latex-free polyurethane and filled with a non-toxic lubricant. If you click here, you should be directed to a site that gives all the stores you can purchase it at. Target sells the Liv Kit for $19.99.

If you live in the UK & want to order one, click here for a website in your country.

And men, do you know that breastcancer.org states that approximately 1,200 new cases of men with breast cancer are diagnosed annually? If you have questions about male breast cancer, click here.

Breast cancer is highly curable if caught in the early stages. Early detection is the key to doing just that.

Technorati tags: breast cancer, the liv kit, olivia newton john, male breast cancer

posted by jane at 12:00 PM

Monday, October 03, 2005

Do you have a favorite word?

Do you have a favorite word? Something you like saying, just because.
I was visting at Cheryl's blog Mad Baggage and she mentioned she likes the phrase "at least". This is one of the things I love about Cheryl, she just has such a way with words & can make the most ordinary things sound so special. :)
My favorite word is: conumdrum
Doesnt it seem like only an educated person would know that word? Hehe, so I feel like I'm kinda cheating. Not that I'm not educated, but I'm not that educated!

And I know that Bug, aka HELL ON HEELS has a word she just loves, it's: *Perseverate

Barb at Bloggo Chicago's favorite word is: "like" and "you know". ("you know" is a word I use all the time, too)

Over at The Pansi Files, (by the way, the funniest blog ever!) the Barbie's favorite words are: Pansi: JESUS. Daisy: money. Blochalela: love. Brittney: hate. April: Nature. Aubvey: Tommy Tuberville. Lobsterlela: sad. Doo-Doo Man: man. Doo-Doo Girl: wow. Joon: like. Diamonelle: yo. Sissy: shopping. Emrald: queen.

Dan at Scenes From A Wasted Life is: Blimp

3t at StumblingthroughlifewithGrace is appropriately: Grace

Ms. Mac's favorite words are: atrocious and abysmal (oooh I like abysmal!)

Digibrill at Letters to Theophilus is: **pendafulous (he made it up. Cool, huh?)

SoLost as in SoLostInWisconsin's favorite word is: volition

Other Stevie of Mind Tricks and Make Art Every Day's favorite is: Make
(If you go to her blog, you'll see the link to her webpage)

JJ of The Churning's favorite is: (are you ready?) *COCKBLOCK!

Atpanda at Putting Out Fires LOVES: Plethora! (I like it, too)

Croaker's over at Croakers Corner is: **Sarcomical! (another original as he made this up)

DaddyJarBucks at Wasted Scenes favorite is: Blowitoutchera$$!

Elvira Black of Shithouse Rat's favorite word is: *Lugubrious
(gawd, I LOVE that blog name!)

Scrawler of The Angel Within's word is: 'sweet'

KSHIPPYCHIC's favorite words are: F-Bomb and Lethargic

Mark of Mark's World likes: *Wazzock

Ironically, JC of Further Ironies favorite word is: Ironic (Isn't that ironic?)

Ananke over at Confused and Amused and Gene Snyder's Airport Sucks enjoys saying: asshat!

Los at Bear's Blog likes: yummy

The Shutterd Eye likes saying: Typically or Actually

Gigglez at Mood Swings & Other Things likes: Serendipity

Kross-eyed Kitty's favorite word is: *Tasty (didn't Jules in Pulp Fiction say 'Tasty!"?)

Henny of The Hen House loves to say: Luv ya!

Willowtree's favorite word is: Biology

Issuational at Issuational's likes saying: **Issuational (a self-made original word)

Over at The Life of a Bipolar in the Thoughts of Death with Life all Around, Cell13's favorite word is: Dam that river!

And how better to close out 'our favorite words' than with the last submission. TB54 of ACTION!!!! says his favorite word is SCHNACKY! You'll have to go to his blog & do a word search for that one as I'm not touching it with a 10 foot pole!

*Look at comments to see word usage in a sentence.
**Look at comments to find definition of original self-made words.

posted by jane at 11:44 PM

Shit! and ohhh Tarzan

We have a dilemna in the Caveman family! Remember my sewing goal? Well, today I cut the cut the pattern (first time since 8th grade I've done that!) and last time, well, Tarzan threaded the machine & did the bobbin. BUT....I need orange thread in there, not white, so....he has to rethread it, right? W R O N G!
He can't figure it out & I've put my entire seamstress career on HIM doing this. So, I just took an anxiety pill (1/2 of one) and I am going to go over there & conquer this beast.
I must tell you, I'm a nervous wreck & am no longer feeling the euphoric wonder that I felt earlier.

SHIT!

Update:
So, now it's my turn to conquer this f*cker, right? Well, it's not the type of thing you can pound into the pavement, it requires patience and that's Tarzan's department. I have none!
I rethread it about 4 times & redo the bobbin a bunch of times & poor Tarzan, I'm so sarcastic when I'm irritated. He's so mellow, of course, he's a stoner, so what's not to be mellow about? I can't smoke pot, it makes me hyper. So, I'm stuck with my pulse throbbing out of my neck veins.
I try to pull on 1 level & the dang foot of the thing falls off. Tarzan puts it back on somehow. Then, don't ask why (or refer to *stoner above) he does the same thing as I did & I say, "Don't!" but he does & the foot falls off again. And by this time, we've got nothing to do but laugh.
So, think think Jane & Tarzan...he puts oil in it again & we try a few other things and I am walking away and guess what? IT WORKS! Tarzan fixed it! The bobbin thread came up thru with the other thread. He conquered the beast.
So, we turned off the light, turned off the machine & are done for the night.
It's no wonder he's KING OF THE JUNGLE! :)

posted by jane at 8:26 PM

I'm baaack

I really miss blogging. (Yes, it's true, I'm an addict!) But not blogging feels like I've lost a limb or something. I've decided that while I can, I'm going to blog again, about things I normally blog about.
There will come a time when my family will be taking care of my aunt 24/7 & we're all in agreement about that. As Gabbi said, hospice is wonderful but they can't do it all & we know the responsibility is ours.
We don't want Aunty spending any time in a Nursing Home. So when the time does come, there are at least 4 of us who will take turns caring for her. It will be her 2 daughters, my mom (her sister) and myself. All of us, of course, are very close with her & it should make her as comfortable as possible.

But for now, starting tomorrow (today, but later) I'm going to write. I'm trying to think of the right words to say 'thanks' but also to say what your support has meant to me & the words aren't coming to my mind. Overwhelmed is a good word, in a pleasing sense. And the other word that comes to mind is Gratitude. I feel so much gratitude for each & every one of you. I want you all to know if you ever need, I am here for you 100%.

That said, I'm going to say goodnight & see you manana. :)

posted by jane at 2:31 AM

Saturday, October 01, 2005

10/1/5

I spoke with my cousin Lola today & my aunt is doing better. The stint the put in her is now functioning properly & Aunty will be able to go home tomorrow. The senior complex she lives at is letting her stay at her apartment (it's assisted living, but not normally for ill people), so my cousins are having her bed replaced with a hospital bed. She'll be under the care of hospice who will visit almost daily & either 1 of my 2 cousins, my mom or myself will be with her once she starts needing us to.
I just spoke with her about 30 minutes ago & all I can say is, "WOW!" She sounds great! All the prayers being said for her are surely being heard. She's eating some solid foods & according to everybody else, isn't as yellow. When I told her we won't be going over tomorrow, as she'll be being moved home, but Tarzan & I will go together next weekend, she sounded very excited. I'll go by myself sometime this week, but want to give her a chance to get settled & in a routine. Anyways, when Tarzan & I go over, she wants us to smuggle her in some enchiladas! She made me laugh, she really did.
KSHIPPYCHIC made a good suggestion to take photos & tonight my aunt told me she wants to show me a photo album of her & my grandparents & my grandma's family. This will really be the 1st time I see pictures of extended family. I've seen my grandma's pictures & gosh, she was so beautiful. When I visit my aunt & see the photos, I'm going to write down everything she tells me about them.
I can't say enough about the unbelievable support you've all shown. Daddyjarbucks even wrote a beautiful post with an awesome fractal. As you can probably tell, my spirits are up as I'm even linking to other blogs!
I've been reading your blogs & they are uplifting, funny, educating, touching, a blend of all of these. They certainly are entertaining & a nice respite. I will keep everybody posted about Aunty & again, thanks for your kind thoughts & prayers.

posted by jane at 7:34 PM